Greenland Caper

Alex from Block 3 wrote this very amusing story of culinary espionage:

My name is Fred. I am a part of a fifth column to get information about our rival country, Greenland. That information happens to be the recipe of the most lip-smacking, mouth-watering, tear-jerking…Irish potatoes. Why does Greenland make heavenly Irish potatoes? I have no clue. I’m pretty new to this so I will tell you about my adventure.

We are undercover and we are starting to gather information about our mission. We befriend some of the locals of Greenland they tell us where the factory is and how to get there. But they had no clue of our intentions. Foolish, foolish locals!

We here that the boss was a rather heavy, and hairy man that looked quite simian. They called him “Mighty Monkey,” and he fed off of Irish potatoes every chance he got. Another person we had to look out for was the manager. He loved Thai food and they called him “Hungry Hal” because he was also on the heavy side. Now that we have our information about the factory, my team and I were ready to get down to business.

It took many hours to get to the factory. Little did we know our map man was reading the map upside-down. So time was rather short. By the time we got to the factory, we saw that the joint was being protected by middle-aged dropouts who were paid six dollars an hour. This struck fear into all of our hearts.

“It’s a Spartan army in there!” Gary said.

“It’s going to be a tough one boys,” our leader preached to us.

“ I need a bucket and some toilet paper, sir,” my colleague said in a small voice.

“Oh suck it up,” the team said in unison.

“Eww,” I said after a brief moment.

“Let’s move in,” our leader said.

I moved on, agog, and with great energy because I was equipped with the latest pepper spray technology.

As we entered the vessel, all of the machinery and sleeping guards made me horripilate. The large room also had a terrible fug. The more I inched my way to the boss’s office the more flashbacks I endured. Flashbacks of how I enjoyed those heavenly Irish potatoes in my salad days. I also had a humongous craving for gazpacho.

Suddenly I heard a call from the first floor: “Fred!!!”

I then realized it was the voice of Gary.

“The team is captured! Get the recipe!!”

I then went into a blind panic. But it didn’t last. I found the recipe! Little did I know that the recipe for the Irish potatoes was conveniently placed on the middle of Mighty Monkey’s desk!

I heard the muffled voices of the guards who were in the middle of seizing the team.

“Hey, Guard Number Three?”

“What is it, Guard Number Eight?”

“Do you want to take a brief nap? It is 6 PM already.”

“ What a delightful idea, Guard Number Three! Good night!”

“Sleep tight!”

“ Hooray, we have won the battle!” my team said.

Now I had to abscond to my exit. Do you really think I would want to interrupt the guards’ peaceful slumber?

I simply can’t wait to find a spot in the Kew Gardens back at home and have an Irish potato party!

Mission Success!